Vinnie Neuberg

Yelp can be insanely useful -- especially if you’re in a new city, looking for recommendations on where to eat and drink. And yet, despite the…passion with which so many Yelpers talk shit about -- er, review bars and restaurants, for whatever reason, they seem to have a blind spot when it comes to breweries. Brewery reviews are sparse, and often filled with information of less consequence to beer fans.

Perhaps Yelpers simply aren’t all that interested in beer; or maybe users don’t have the depth of knowledge necessary to determine whether or not a brewery’s taproom is worth visiting. Whatever the reason may be, we think Yelpers could provide more value to the beer community if they’d start getting more involved by writing beer reviews.

Here’s a taste of what that would look like:

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The Alchemist Heady Topper

“I got this beer in the mail today from a friend in Vermont. Love the label art. It was shipped only a few days after the double IPA was canned, and I could taste how fresh the beer was. Floral and citrusy, it was easily one of the best IPAs I’ve ever had in my life -- I only wish my friend would’ve sent me more! If I have one complaint, though, it’s the way the UPS guy handed me my package. It said FRAGILE on it in huge letters, and he basically THREW IT into my hands! If the can would’ve exploded when I opened it, I’d be suing UPS. For real. For that reason, Heady Topper gets 2 out of 4 stars.”

Russian River Brewing Co. Pliny the Younger

“I was lucky enough to go to Santa Rosa and drink Pliny directly from the source! Russian River’s digs are small, but I got a seat and a beautiful glass of that triple IPA. If you don’t like bitterness, look elsewhere. But with plenty of dank, delicious, bitter hops, this is the definition of a must-drink IPA for any real hopheads. One thing I have to say though: the bartender at the taproom was kind of a dick to me. When I told him I wanted to pay with my Discover card, he said it wasn’t accepted at Russian River. What, is this not America anymore? I give this beer 1 out of 4 stars.”

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Founders Brewing Co. KBS 2017

“I can’t believe I found a bottle of this in my local liquor store. I’ve had Kentucky Breakfast Stout over the years, and there’s nothing like its chocolate and bourbon notes in any other beer. Must have something to do with the literal cave in which those geniuses at Founders age their beers. Summing up: this is a good year for KBS. If you get your hands on the release, congrats to you! But I have to add one thing: when I went to pay for this beer, the cashier gave me a look. I don’t know if he had resting bitch face or if it was jealousy, but I didn’t like the way I was treated. It was almost like his eyes were saying, ‘Are you seriously going to pay this much for a beer?’ I’m like, ‘Excuse me?’ Sorry, but I have to give KBS ¼ of a star out of 4.”

Cantillon Gueuze 100% Lambic

“Traveled all the way to Brussels to drink this one, and boy was it worth it! Tart and acidic with a touch of fruit, this dry, slightly funky, sour beverage is masterfully made; it is the epitome of a well-crafted spontaneously fermented beer. In a single word, DELICIOUS! However, my cab driver got lost on the way back to my Airbnb; Gueuze gets 0 out of 4 stars.”