Fyxation / Old Town Spice Shop / Pretentious Beer & Glass
Perhaps no one truly needs more stuff. We already spend too much money on new stuff to replace our old stuff! George Carlin (R.I.P.) famously had an entire bit about stuff. But here’s the thing people never admit about stuff: if the stuff is stuff you’ll actually use, then it’s stuff worth buying! And since you’re probably never going to sell all your stuff and leave modern society behind to live a solitary life in the woods, then you could especially use some more beer stuff.
So we scoured Etsy for the most useful beer gear on the planet, and discovered a community of makers at Etsy who’d be more than happy to hook you up with stuff related to your favorite beverage -- some of which could even serve as fine holiday gifts for the beer lover in your life. Whether for your friends, family, or yourself, take a look at the list below and go nuts, fellow lover of stuff.
(Okay, we swear we’re never using that word again.)
credits:"[Pop Chart Lab / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/265906765/99-bottles-of-craft-beer-on-the-wall)" width:400 align:right
The geniuses over at NYC’s Pop Chart Lab have designed art prints focused on everything from Batman’s villains to dinosaurs. Beer, too! This unique product is a scratch-off poster: drink one of the 99 craft beers on it, and you can make the beer disappear by scratching it with a coin. Sadly, it is not, however, a scratch-and-sniff poster. Still cool though!
I have a large, cumbersome bottle opener on my keychain. It’s been there for years, and I have no intention of taking it off. It inevitably digs into my leg when I carry my keys in my jeans, which is often. It’s the worst. I wish I’d heard of this handy bottle opener before! It’s the size of a credit card, so it fits in your wallet, and it opens beer bottles like a champ. If you need a stocking stuffer for your friend or family member burdened with a similar keychain, look no further.
credits:"[walkeycraft / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/286052401/beer-card-bottle-opener)" align:center width:800
Unless you work at The Beer Necessities, it’s usually frowned upon to drink beer in the morning. But if you’re like us, sometimes you crave the taste of it before noon. And now there’s a convenient (and caffeinated!) way to get those beer flavors via your coffee mug. A Colorado spice shop has mixed ground coffee, malted barley, and hops to create java that tastes like everything from black IPAs to winter warmers to chocolate stout. Sounds like the best part of waking up to us.
credits:"[Old Town Spice Shop / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/287258715/hopped-up-coffee-chocolate-stout-beer)"
credits:"[cheaphumidors / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/226582664/the-original-beer-cap-map-of-usa-display)" width:350 align:right
We’ve told you before that beer caps are definitely worth saving. And even if you’re too lazy to take on a Pinterest project, we hope you’re not too lazy to squeeze a cap into a wooden map of the US. And because there’s a hole in the map representing each (contiguous) state, this is going to look dope if you throw in a bottlecap from a different brewery in every American state. Actually, that sounds like a great thing to try regardless of whether or not you have a beer map. Looks like we have a new New Year’s resolution.
I’m clumsy enough that if I walk into my kitchen with a six-pack, there’s an outside chance I might fall down and shatter the entire package of beer. I’m basically Renee Zellweger trying to impress her crush in a romantic comedy. Other people -- like, anyone who’d buy a genuine leather beer carrier -- are surely more coordinated. If you find yourself biking to a brewery to buy sixers most weekends (and still would like to use your hands to guide yourself home), this feels pretty essential.
credits:"[Fyxation / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/233446444/bicycle-craft-beer-six-pack-carrier)"
credits:"[JenniesJawns / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/286089647/beer-candle-the-alchemist-heady-topper)" width:225 align:right
A Philadelphia-based craftswoman takes droolworthy brews like Alchemist’s Heady Topper, Lawson’s Finest Liquids Sip of Sunshine, and Bell’s Brewery Hopslam Ale and...well, she probably drinks them. Which is nice for her! But then afterwards, she drops a handmade soy wax candle in them. That means you can class up your place real nice with a lit candle while also looking at a can of one of your favorite beers! Win/win.
If your first thought when reading “enormous wooden mug” is, “I already have a mug for beer, what the hell do I need this for?” then...okay, that’s a valid point. But take a closer look at this thing! It’s handmade from natural wood, comes equipped with a metal liner, and makes you look like you’re drinking from a gosh darn barrel. If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a beer-guzzling Viking, here’s your chance.
credits:"[Wood Mug Master / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/452421828/sale-large-beer-mug-handmade-mug-dark)"
I never thought beer was useful in the bathroom until I tested out a bunch of grooming products and loved ‘em all. So I also love the idea of a eight different beer soaps -- made with a variety of Aslan Brewing Co.’s brews -- packaged together. You won’t know whether to take a shower with Chamomile IPA soap, or drink! Wait...you could potentially wash off with the soap and drink the beer at the same time. Showering will never be the same.
credits:"[lemonbuzzsoap / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/227160793/beer-lovers-delightorganic-craft-beer)"
credits:"[HayleyCassatt / Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/listing/117521876/pbr-sloth)" width:225 align:right
While you don’t need a cabinet full of glassware in order to appreciate beer, it’s nice to have an in-home vessel designed to enhance your favorite beer styles. Since IPAs are far and away the most popular style in America, we think this beautiful 12oz tulip glass designed to be filled with the beer (including places for your fingers and thumbs!) is a solid addition to your kitchen cabinets.
We don’t have to sell you on a painting of a sloth holding a can of PBR. This thing sells itself.